Flaming Pink Flamingos
by TheSecretCity
Summary: Where does Garcia get all her nifty pens?
1. Chapter 1

Flaming Pink Flamingos, Part One

Ever wonder where Garcia gets her pens?

. . . . . . . . . . .

Spencer Reid collected statistics and facts. Fact: Penelope Garcia had more odd pens then any human he had ever met. They had crazy colors, feathers, and inks that glowed in the dark. Sometimes the pens glowed in the dark. They resided in a coffee cup on her desk.

Fact: he had no idea where she got them.

She refused to tell him, actually. She had pinched his cheek and said 'Not on your adorable hair, my junior G-man.' Which kind of annoyed Reid. It was a simple question.

Which lead to his next plan.

"Hey Morgan," he asked across his desk to Morgan's. "Do you know where Garcia gets her pens?"

"Isn't that like asking where a woman shops for shoes?" Morgan fired back.

"You don't know either, do you?"

"Not a clue, why?"

Reid checked both ways before leaning as close as possible. "I thought Austin might like some. Kind of like a unique set I could put together for her. But I wanted to do it myself, and Garcia would want to help if I told her why I needed to know where she got her pens."

Austin was Reid's girlfriend, though he hesitated to use the term. She had a quirky streak not unlike Garcia's but far less intense.

Morgan nodded. "You have a problem. Let me see what I can do."

"You aren't going to tell Garcia, are you?"

"Do I look stupid, kid? Just give me some time. Like a hour."

Morgan strutted-it was the only word for it-out of the bullpen.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Morgan returned an hour and fifteen minutes later, shaking his head. "She wouldn't budge."

Reid swore under his breath.

"Ain't over yet. We can follow her and see where she buys the pens."

"Isn't that rude?"

"Probably."

"Won't Garcia post embarrassing photos of us everywhere if we annoy her?"

"Good point. Next plan?"

Reid thought. "Rossi."

"How is _Rossi_ gonna help us?"

"Rossi and JJ are good friends. JJ goes shopping with Garcia. We ask him to ask her, she tells him and he tells us."

Morgan nodded.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Rossi looked from Reid to Morgan. "And Garcia wouldn't tell you?"

Reid shook his head.

"Or Morgan, either?"

Morgan snorted. "I was shocked."

Rossi considered. Rossi nodded to himself. Then Rossi stood up. "Wait here."


	2. Chapter 2

Flaming Pink Flamingos, Part Two

What neither Reid nor Morgan knew was that, instead of going to JJ, Rossi went to Garcia's lair directly.

As usual, she was surrounded by monitors blinking things Rossi knew he would never understand no matter who explained it to him. And she was typing.

Rossi cleared his throat.

"Speak and be recognized by your Empress, mortal."

"Am I to assume this means you won't strike me with lightening bolts?"

"Correctamundo."

She still hadn't turned.

"Reid wants to buy a present for Austin, but he wants to do it by himself."

That got Garcia's attention. She swiveled her chair to face him. "Oh?"

"Yeah. He wants to make a one-off collection of unusual pens for her, but wants to make sure he's the only one who picks them out."

"That's why he and Morgan were in here, wanting to know where I got my pens!"

"Yeah," Rossi spread his hands. "Help me out here? They were going to have me weasel the info out of JJ, but I didn't feel like dying today…"

Garcia had a Post-It pad and was scribbling. "These are the top shops in the area. Best one is at the top. And tell Reid good luck."

Rossi read over her shoulder. "Flaming Pink Flamingos?"

"It's got all sorts of kitschy stuff, and animal pens. Fort Nerd is full of video-game related memorabilia, and movie character head pens. They've got glowy ones, too. And Ink, Inc has every type of pen ever made, and you can special order a design you or an on site artist creates."

"I didn't know this was an actual industry."

"Oh yeah. There's an industry for everything. Some of it's more cottage then others."

"Wow."

"Here," she handed Rossi the paper. It was pink.

"Thanks."

"Just remember you owe me."

"Nothing involving costumes."

"It's my favor."

"Shit."

. . . . . . . . . . .

When Rossi came back, he handed the list to Reid. "Good luck."

Reid and Morgan looked at him and then each other. Morgan voiced the collective opinion.

"Dude, you're good."

. . . . . . . . . . .

A week later, Garcia walked into her bunker to a brightly wrapped package. The label said it was a gift basket from Ink, Inc. Peeling back the cellophane, she found pink pens featuring feathers and flamingo heads surrounding another wrapped package. This one read _Special Order_.

Inside was the note. It read 'For Garcia, with gratitude. Rossi.' And there were pens in there, too, but not from the shop. These were pens for writing fancy checks and letters, with inks that flowed in smooth lines and never skipped, pens decorated with wood and edged with gold trim. These were pens she would never have picked up herself. And so they were way awesome.

FINIS

Author's Note: I admit freely to having seen and bought a Garcia pen the other day. It is a pink pen with a flamingo head and pink feathers. It also lights up when you write with it. I don't usually buy pens like that, because the dog will steal and eat them, but I couldn't resist. And that lead me to 'Where does Garcia get all her cool pens?', which lead to this. And none of the shops mentioned actually exist. If they did, I would shop there.


End file.
